Evidently a northern California Witch (a Wiccan practioner, if you prefer) can use magic to clear viruses from your computer using magic. The Reverend Joey Talley can also fix your burglar alarm if you need it.
While supplying more traditional Wiccan services for those struggling with love, success and the like, Talley also has expanded her offering to include tech support, exorcising computer viruses. She "explains how the viruses are akin to ghosts or demons" and how she uses trances, stones and magic to cleanse a computer of the infestation.
According to an interview with Motherboard, "To excise such entities out of a machine, she uses a variety of techniques-she might place stones on top of the computer, clear the dark energy by setting an intention with her mind, or cleanse the area around the computer by burning sage. The time it takes to clear these viruses depends on the nefariousness of the entity, she says: sometimes it takes just an hour, other times it can take up to four."
Sage, an herb commonly used for cleansing demonic/evil presences, makes appearances as well. Joey Talley usually uses it to force the negativity out of the computer, and "Depending on the energy of each individual computer, she will also do a magic spell or tape a magic charm onto the computer."
This is certainly a novel approach to antivirus. Evidently it works, too, as Talley indicated she had never run into a virus shouldn't couldn't exorcise. She does not get work from companies, as most would be to hesitant to turn to a New Age, non-software methods of protecting computers from viruses. Talley explained why that is: "The individuals will approach me themselves, not as a company. They're afraid. They don't want to be accused of being ridiculous or stoned or devil worshippers or something."
The next question should be obvious: Can we get an app for that?
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