One of Classicalite's favorite up-and-coming theater talents is Daniel Bumgardner. Known primarily for his insightful and innovative direction--everything from Shakespeare to Beckett to Martin McDonagh--Bumgardner often writes for the stage, as well.
To wit, when we learned that the director-slash-writer was working on a musical adaptation of the rock band Weezer's Pinkerton album (DGC, 1996), we begged him for an exclusive look.
Lucky for you, Classicalites, Daniel Bumgardner was happy to oblige. In fact, over the next several days, Bumgardner is allowing us to serialize the entirety of You've Got My Song: The [unofficial] Weezer Musical.
We begin with Act I, Scene 1. Or, as Bumgardner writes below: "Tired of Sex."
1995. Parallel Morning Routines: Jon & Paul. Multiple girls are spread around their bedrooms. All are stirring. The girls are unaware of each other.
JON: I'm tired, so tired, I'm tired of having sex.
GIRLS: So tired!
JON: I'm spread so thin, I don't know who I am.
PAUL & GIRLS: Who I am!
JON: Monday night, I'm makin' Jen. Tuesday night, I'm makin' Lyn. Wednesday night, I'm makin' Catherine. Oh, why can't I be making love come true?
JON & PAUL: Whoa! I'm beat--beet red. Ashamed of what I said.
GIRLS: What I said!
From the bed, Jon attempts to wake the girls.
JON: I'm sorry, here I go. I know I'm a sinner, but I can't say no.
GIRLS: Say NO!
A dance. All are awake. Behind shower curtains, in silhouette.
JON: Thursday night, I'm makin' Denise. Friday night, I'm makin' Sharise. Saturday night, I'm makin' Louise. Oh, why can't I be making love come true? What should I do?
Shower curtains open. Jon and Paul emerge, half-dressed. Clothes find their way to them. The girls throw on their clothes in a cascade of morning chaos. Jon and Paul, with urgency, throw items of clothing into the horde. They open their bedroom doors, ushering each one out.
JON & PAUL: Tonight, I'm down on my knees. Tonight, I'm beggin' you please. Tonight, tonight, please. Oh, why can't I be making love come true?
They close their doors, with difficulty, as the last girls leave. The dust settles.
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